| Jared Da Fly and Chris Da Goat's page of Humor! | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Jared Da Fly's Survival Quiz | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Q:When you bring home the guy you're crazy and he has table manners that make a pig look classy, you should: a) Blame it on your parents because they made him nervous b) Eat just like he is eating c) Go into the kitchen, turn on the oven and put your head in it. ANSWER: a) After all, what are your parents for, if not for furnishing a good excuse for anything bad that happens? Q: If you are ice skating and showing off your great form and suddenly remember you forgot to put on underpants, you should: a) Pray that God strikes you dead before you hit the ground b) Deny everything c) Pretend that you knew it all along. ANSWER: None of the above. There is no answer. Your whole entire life has just been ruined! Q: If you're peeping and you're caught by your father, immediately: a) Say, | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| Chris Da Goat's Survival Quiz! | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Q: You're playing ball against the wall of your room. Unknown to you, your father is having a sex fantasy nap in the other room. Your noise was awakened him. You should: a) Run to the nearest church and claim sanctuary b) Quickly lie on the floor and tell father you fainted and were pounding on the wall to get some help c) Ask him how his sex fantasy went,. ANSWER: b) But it might be fun to see how he answers c). Q: It's Mothers' Day and you have forgotten to get the old woman a present. You should: a) Run into traffic b) Remind her that it's the thought, not that the gift that counts (Like she always says) c) Plan to eat cold cereal for dinner for a month. ANSWER: Just for kicks, try b); You'll get an idea of how much air there is between what she says and what she does. Q: When you get to school late and discover that your zipper doesn't work, you should: a) Be the first person to give his live body to Science b) Crawl to your seat on your stomach, telling the teacher that you are practicing for the marines c) Tell the teacher you're wearing your brother's pants by mistake. Let her think that he is the pervert. ANSWER: a) But be prepared for a turn down, ecspecially with that body!! Q: Your blind date shows up and he looks like something the cat dragged in, then out, then in. You might consider: a) Puking on his shoes b) Start picking your nose c) Tell him that your sister had to leave without being able to call him. (Of course, you have no sister, but he doesn't know that). ANSWER: a) Its quick and doesn't require lengthy explanations. | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| Zowie's effect on men! By: Jared Da Fly | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Just a word of encouragement to you ordinary looking girls out there! Just because the Zowie looking model in the breath- takingly tight sweater gathers guys like a flame gathers moths, don't think your life is at an end! There are MANY THINGS you can do to attract the boys away from that lovely vision....although at the moment, I can't think of a single one.........
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